And we shall call him Scholar.

It's Monday and I'm exhausted!  Maybe you are too?  It was a busy weekend of friends, sun, and family so I'm not complaining!  Last night insomnia got it's hold on me and now I got my hold on my third cup of coffee!

So in light of it being Monday, just the beginning of a busy week, I think we should start it off with some exciting news!! Many of our friends and family know we are adopting again!  Yep, we have another son calling for us.  He's special, oh so special.  Can't even do justice in describing how special he is.  I know, seriously, 4th boy!!!!  I thought with adoption I had a choice.  Nope, not really.  Just like with a pregnancy you are blessed with the child you are meant to have.

This son really is a miracle, as all my children are.  But he wasn't meant to be our son.  I say that in that when we brought Potato bug home our intention was to return for a daughter.  That was our plan.  A 12 year old boy wasn't the plan.  But really, plans are just a guide to give us some focus and direction.  Without some planning though none of our kids would be here today.  It's the ability to not be locked into a plan that brings us treasures we couldn't have planned if we tried!

I know get to the point!  What made us change our plan?  When we were touring Potato bugs orphanage we were invited to stay for lunch.  As we were finishing up a gaggle of school kids came in for lunch.  Gamer and I were quite the spectacle in his long hair and my blond headed glory!  Also my tattoos were quite fascinating to behold!  I asked the nannies if I could say hi to the kids and give them some candy.  The kids were between the ages of 8-10 I'm guessing.  I gave this one boy a handful of suckers.  He proceeded to hand them to another child.  We repeated this until he made sure every child had a handful of suckers.  Finally he accepted the last handful.  He gave me the sweetest, shyest glances.  I was so moved by this experience.

Gamer and I left with cute adorable Potato bug and I could feel the stares of the older kids burning into my back.  We both had tears in our eyes and could barely speak when we got in the car.  I told Gamer that I was so grateful for all the adoptive parents who bring these kids home but I don't think I could do it.  Gamer said if we won the lottery we'd make it happen!   We'd have a houseful!!  I really wanted a girl and just couldn't change my plan, I was pretty stuck on my plan.  But this changed me and I was pretty heartbroken for these kids.  These older kids are always left behind.  They see all these cute little ones going home and it must break their heart every time to see them leave.  And they are left with a handful of suckers.

Fast forward a year!  We had just celebrated Potato bugs first Family Forever day.  Crazy how fast it went!  We found this most awesome group called Seattle Chinese Families.  We joined the Facebook group and finally we're going to meet some local families at a park.  We were so excited to meet other families that were local and also super excited to meet families with kids the same age!  The China program manager for our agency was there as well.  She is also a adoptive mama.  I decided to ask her about the boy at Potato bugs orphanage.  Mother's day had just come and I was thinking of him a lot.  I really just wanted to know that he was ok and was really hoping he was in a loving home.  I described him to her and she just looked at me, I can't even describe the look, but I'll try.  It was look of hope, excitement,  and I think I might pass out!  We all had goosebumps.  The minute I asked about him and saw her look I knew my plans were changing.  I still get all goose bumpy!  She had been advocating for him for 3 years!!  Our agency has a partnership with this orphanage so she has visited quite often.  In fact she took the 6 month photo of Potato bug in the previous blog post!  She is extra special to us as she advocated for both of them.  She was able to get the orphanage to make a file so Potato bug could be adopted.  She asked for this older boy as well.  They said no at the time.  She begged for 3 years!!!!  He was so special.  She said she would find him a family, he wanted and needed a family and she was going to make it happen!  She finally got his file, she rocks!!  As the hair was still standing up on my arm she looked at me and said, "I only have his file for five more days.'  That's it.  If we don't match him with a family in five days he goes out into the database that other agencies can then pull him from.  Once an agency has his file they get to keep it for 3 months.   We were just going for a playdate at the park!!!  Seriously, this is not what I had planned!  I believe her words were "no pressure but if you're interested he is available for adoption."

I kind of felt like we were leaving the orphanage all over again!  We had the stares of those children burning a hole into our back.  Again, we get in the van (our most awesome minivan!) and we were near tears.  This time, without any hesitation, we knew our plan changed again.  I decided that plans are stupid!!  Plans blind you, they keep you from seeing what's right in front of you.  Plans slow you down.  So no more plans!!  Woo hoo, we are going for boy number 4!!  And we shall call him Scholar.