Collecting the good, bad, and the Hootness!

I know exactly where the first Hoot purchase was.  It was a gray owl that I purchased in Norway while visiting family 3 years ago.  I've always loved owls, long before they were trendy!  Owls are wise, quirky, funny, and always cute!  I have yet to meet an owl that I couldn't find some cuteness in.  They also make me happy.  Seriously, you can't look at an owl and be mad or sad.  Don't tell my kids but I guarantee even if they did the naughtiest thing ever I would get over it in two seconds if they gave me an owl to hug!  Shhh, we won't tell them that little secret!

Collecting, we all do it to some degree.  Sometimes we collect because it's the trendy thing to do, remember those Beanie Babies that was going to send your kid to college?  Sometimes we collect things because we can't let go.  Maybe it's a tangible object that connects us to someone we love, a cherished memory.  And then there is the junk.  I wouldn't exactly call it collecting because the junk very rarely brings joy.  My sweet Gamer is a collector of junk (love you honey) but he is.  He has two categories of things he collects, I can understand one over the other.  The first one drives me INSANE!!!!!!!!!!  We have boxes and boxes of cables and techie stuff.  To me, because of the sheer volume it counts as a collection.  It's not a collection that brings joy, to me it brings anxiety.  We have so many boxes of old PC games, manuals, cords, gaming console doo-hickies, VHS tapes, models, and books.  The second things he collects are things that invoke memories of his youth.  Now that I can work with! Can't say I've embraced it all but I understand it.  Not long after we met, his Gramms passed away.  It was sudden and devastated him.  He was very close to his grandparents and they were very solid in his upbringing so the loss was heart wrenching for him.   Not long after she was gone his dad called and said that they had a lot of Grammy's possessions.  The family in Colorado had gone through a lot of it but there were a lot of things left.  Gamer said he wanted ALL OF IT!!!!  Now I never met Gramms but from the stories I've heard I'm sure I would've loved her.  However, I can't say I loved all her stuff though.  She was a grandma and had a lot of grandma things!  Soooooooo, that was a tough one when Gamer in all his enthusiasm exclaimed that a truck load of Grammy's things would be arriving at our home!!  The one thing I couldn't relent on was the dining table set, it was rocking the 70"s.  It was well cared for but the wicker backing just wasn't going to work!  So he sat at it, remembered how he sat there and ate peaches and cottage cheese with grammy and was able to let it go.  Phew!!  However we kept a lot of things too.  At first I wasn't fond of them because they didn't match my style but more and more as I heard about Gramms I got attached to them too!!!  There was a framed picture of hers that Gamer wanted to hang.  I wasn't a fan of it.  It was a lot of gold and bold colors.  But we hung it.  When we moved last year into our new house I thought it was time to let it go.  I think he pretty much agreed, I think I could've persuaded him because it really wasn't our style.  But NOOOOOO, now I'm the one attached to it and we will have to hang it!  There you go Gramms, I've been hooked!!  We talked about reframing it because it has a water stain on it but I think it needs to stay just the way it is!  There is also another special item in Gramms collection that I had to keep.  It's a Hoot!  Not the cutest Hoot but a wise Hoot and it was Grammys.  I like to think it's her getting to peek into our lives as she sits perched on our mantle.  She has a pretty sweet spot in the house, it's the heart of where we spend our time as a family.

So you're probably still wondering what is up with this Hoot obsession.  First off, let me share my collection for Hoot.  It's loot for my little Hoot!

And there is more!!!  I have a box from the move I haven't found yet.  Darn those boxes of cables that are obscuring my box of Hooty things!

 Imagine my excitement when I found this book in a little shop in Leavenworth, WA

I can't wait to pinch her little hootie patootie!

Back to my Hoot and why I started collecting owls for her.  I started collecting even before I knew who she was or that I would even have a daughter.  When I was in Norway I was shopping with my mom and aunt.  We went into this store and EVERYTHING in there was either white, gray, black, or a combination of those colors.  That was it, no other colors at all.  Right away this white and gray owl caught my attention (it's in the above picture, the one to the left).  I picked it up, felt all the different textures on it and started thinking of my Hoot.  I didn't know who she was or if she would ever be but this made me feel so close to her.  So I bought my first owl.  Now I'm not some crazy owl lady, I don't go out of my way looking and scouring for owls!!  In fact, I don't buy every owl I see, that WOULD make me a crazy lady! However, when I see one, and I feel her, I get it!  Now I wonder what you'll think of all this My Little Hoot!!  This does not give you license to call your mom the crazy owl lady!

Today in the mail Hoot received her first Hoot gift from a friend.  Makes me so happy that people are now seeing owls and thinking of our little Hoot!

She's a HOOT!

There is an elephant in the room and his name is Charley!

There has been this elephant following us for months.  He's in our house, our car, in our minds and literally is sitting on us 24 hours a day.  I've tried laying a trail of peanuts to get him to leave.  Our zoo in Seattle no longer has elephants, thought that might be a nice place to drop him off.  We went on Tuesday and he followed us home.  He's still here and I decided to let him stay, his name is Charley.

Sometimes Charley makes me uncomfortable, he has made me jump out of my comfort zone.  Charley is the elephant in the room some people are questioning.  So I need to introduce you all to him so it's not awkward, he's really a cool and well loved little fellow!  In fact this elephant has been by my side for over 35 yrs.

I've had a few inquiries as to why we're fundraising.  It's a fair question.  It's also something I see pop up on adoption sites quite a bit.  There are a lot of differing opinions on it, even from people within the adoption community.   I think some of our friends and family are surprised that we are asking for help, especially at the finish line.  It wasn't an easy decision and wasn't something we considered before.   Questions fundraising families typically get:

-Why are you adopting if you can't afford to bring them home?
-If you can't afford to adopt them how can you provide for them once home?
-This was your choice, you shouldn't be asking people for money.
-You can afford a nice house and things but you're asking for money???

I normally don't like to talk money but adoption expenses are high.  A single adoption can be over 30K, imagine two!!  It's not quite double but it's still high.  Now I just don't have that laying around.  We do have a nice house but we have no car payments.  We are both driving over 10 yr old cars and they get us around!  We are fortunate.  We were able to save and pay for Potato bugs adoption.  We immediately started saving again after his adoption because we knew we were going to adopt one more.....just one.  A girl this time.  But then we met Scholar.  Scholar is so deserving of a family.  All these kids are.  He will be 13 on November 2.  When a child in China turns 14 they can no longer be adopted, that's it for them.  If they are lucky they will be allowed to stay in the orphanage.  If not they are released into the world with no money, education, or family.  Could you imagine how your 16-18 yr old child would survive that?  Unfathomable.   He needed us and we needed him, he truly was meant to be our son.  We were fully funded for one more adoption at this point so all was good.  We really didn't think a daughter was in the cards and had made peace with it.  We had a narrow crack of a chance to get matched with a daughter in time to be able to travel only once.  When it happened we were so excited and then freaked because we didn't have much time to come up with the funds.  I got a job, it was short lived and it became more than just earning money. (http://ourscatteredbutterflies.blogspot.com/2015_06_01_archive.html

It is our choice to bring them home.  We can afford to provide for them.  We can give them love, a home, a family, and a chance to live a life that they choose to pursue with the support of a family.   What frustrates me is is that there is not more help to bring these kids home.  There are grants but because we were too late in applying for them we didn't qualify.  Other than fundraising and grants there is no help.  Fundraising sucks!!!  Nobody likes asking for help but these kids are worth it and I will swallow my pride to do anything for them.  I would crawl over broken glass, allow 10 million spiders to crawl all over me, and welcome the elephant into my home or whatever else it took to bring these kids home.  My pride is at the bottom and if I've offended people I can live with it because my kids come before my pride.  It's not a fair world we live in.  My kids have experienced that first hand.  They were born into circumstances that they had no control over.  When people decide to grow a family they do a "little ba-da-boom-ba-da-bing" and they have a baby.  Most have insurance to cover the cost of birth.  People who choose to adopt don't have that help.  Could you imagine having to pay 30K for a birth?  I wish there was more help for orphans, there would be less of them if there was.  There should be.  There are a lot of people who could be wonderful parents to these kids but are stopped by the cost of bringing them home.  There are so many kids who need families and I will advocate for every single one of them.  Over the years I've boughten quite a few auction items, t-shirts, and just given money to help bring kids home.  It's where my heart is.

With that said I am so appreciative of all the donations we have received!!  Everyone (even the ones asking why?) have been incredibly supportive!  We all have causes that are near and dear to us. We can't support every cause that comes our way.  We all get touched by an experience that leads us to advocate and support.   For some it's cancer, for some it's special needs, for some it's adoption, for some it's providing scholarships, for some it's helping a family that has suffered a devastation.  Whatever your cause is is you are making a difference to someone and that's what matters.  Nobody can support every cause, I know I can't.  I see requests for fundraising all the time, I can't support them all.  I wish I could but I can't.  We feel the love from all our friends and family.  I want you all to love our elephant Charley and to not feel awkward with him in the room.  There is enough room for us all.  Much love to you all!

Helping a special needs mommy fundraiser (it's not me!!)

One night last week I was up late.  I started chatting online with another mother that has a child with Down Syndrome.  I had made a Facebook post about how well this summer has been going with Boom Boom!  He is 8 years old and this has been our best summer yet!  Well this momma is not feeling the same.  She's having a hard time and summer can be the hardest months!    I've had many hard times and have been tested to my outer limits at times.  Summers were always a fun thing to look forward too!  It's playing at the beach, loading the car for an adventure, popsicles, exploring new parks and trails, staying up late and playing in the neighborhood with all the kids, chasing after the ice cream truck, and going to all the summer festivals!

Well Boom Boom doesn't always like those things so carefree summers are now different.  It takes planning.  I have to pack his food (as he has oral aversions and eats a limited diet), his feeding tube supplies for hydration, diapers, changes of clothes, and comfort items.   Parks can be a nightmare and dangerous for us.  He has no sense of danger, doesn't look for me, and sometimes he doesn't act appropriately with other kids (he will pull hair or push sometimes!)  So as you can imagine I have to be two steps behind him at all times while keeping an eye on Potato Bug, it's exhausting!!  Since we've moved we have turned our yard into a playground so that the boys can have a safe and secure place to play.  We have ventured a bit, we went to a splash park last week and Boom Boom did amazing!!!  I was so proud of him.  I was actually able to sit and watch both my kids play which is rare!

Boom Boom having a blast watching the water!

All these kids and I didn't lose either of mine!  They both had so much fun!

Well this mom that I was talking with has a beautiful 5 yr old daughter with DS.  She also has two younger daughters, a 3 yr old and baby.  So you can imagine her hands are full!  Going to the park is impossible as her daughter is a runner and it's just not safe with two other little ones to watch.  Also imagine how hard medical appointments are?  I've struggled with these challenges.  If I have to take Boom Boom with me to one of my appointments or his brothers I can barely focus on what the doctor has to say because I'm overwhelmed with managing Boom Boom.  

Now that Boom Boom is older and in school full time I make all my medical appointments during the school year for all of us which has helped out immensely.  However sickness does not understand the school calendar!!  In those situations I rely on my parents or a sitter if I can get one.  It's hard.  It's not a complaint but a logistical challenge all special needs moms and dads face.  Who will care for our kids when we need a break, have medical/dental appointments, we're sick, or even just want a date night.  We have a few sitters we use and are grateful for them.  But some of us have kids with challenges and it isn't always easy to leave them.  And to be honest no one ever offers to watch them.  I get offers for PB but never for BB, and I totally understand, I'm not judging.  He is a complex little dude!  He is nonverbal, has a feeding tube, feeding challenges, and behavioral challenges at times.  Everyone else has their own kids and adding BB to the mix could seem overwhelming to manage.  So where does that leave us?  On our own.  It's a problem a lot of us face and it's overwhelming.  Days of being spontaneous are long gone!

After talking to this mom and hearing how helpless she feels at this stage I want to help her.  She doesn't have support to help with her kids, it's all on her. Her husband works long hours and she's on her own from morning until he's home at 7:30 at night.  I have long thought that their needs to be a network of moms (and dads) helping each other out, especially those that are experiencing similar challenges.

Here is how you can help make that happen. For every $10 donated towards our adoption I will donate an hour of my time to help another mommy out.  Your donation will go towards bringing Scholar and Hoot home as well as allowing another mother the peace of mind to go to the doctor, dentist, or even get her hair done without having to worry about childcare.  I  will be reaching out to our local Snohomish Down Syndrome Community to let them know when I have hours to offer.  And my hope is that this leads to more parents helping each other out.  This has been something I have wanted to get off the ground for a long time.  I would love for all us mothers/fathers to band together and help each other out.  I have 11 years experience as a daycare/preschool provider, I'm proficient with feeding tubes, communication challenges, and autism.  I'm really hoping I can help this mommy soon!!  And to be honest.....I'll help her regardless.

If you wish to support this fundraiser click:

Here

Please specify in the comments which fundraiser you're supporting!  Thank you all for the continued support you all rock!

Gift card giveaway!

I'm so excited to share our 2nd fundraiser!!  It's a gift card giveaway!!!  We got you covered for your Starbucks habit, date night, crafting, music, shopping, and much much more!!  Need a last minute gift? Got that covered too!  For the last year Gamer and I have been saving our gift cards and they have added up to a nice collection!  And if that wasn't enough some awesome friends donated some cards too!  Love our friends and the continued support they offer!  Couldn't have done this without you peeps!

This is what you could win!!!!  Could you imagine the fun you could have?

Here is what you get:

$50 Southwest Airlines giftcard (Take that luggage fee!)

$75   iTunes (bring on the tunes and apps!)

$30 Jo-Ann card (feeling crafty?)

$50 Nordstrom (oh yeah baby!)

4 movie tickets and a $10 AMC card. (Date night times 2!)

$25 Subway (because you're hungry after all that shopping!)

$25 Amazon (shop from home!)

$25 Target (Love me some Target!)

$75 Starbucks (we got your habit covered!)

This adds up to $417 in gift card fun!  I valued the movie tickets for $13 a piece (Avg price of a movie these days!)  

All these cards are national, except for Jo-Ann fabrics.  But don't let that stop you, you have the internet and can get your crafty needs met from your couch!!  

Here's how it works:

1) For every $10 donated your name is entered into the giveaway.

2) Share this fundraiser on your Facebook page and receive another entry into the giveaway!

    (please private message me when you share so I don't miss it!)
*Must donate $10 for an entry and share for an extra entry.

3) Ways to pay:   http://www.youcaring.com/noah-and-heidi-fidanque-383496

      This will take you to our fundraising page!

4) This fundraiser will close at 6pm on July 31st. and the winner will be announced at 8pm pacific time!

Another step closer to a Hoot and a (sc)Holar!

I don't speak Chinese!!

On Monday my mom and I took the boys to Uwajimaya.  It's a Japanese/Asian storet in the International district of downtown Seattle.  I haven't been there in over 20 years!!!  We live way out in the sticks so it's not exactly close and we have plenty of asian markets near us that meet our needs.  But a friend mentioned that they have a decent selection of books in Mandarin and that we could even order some if need be.  Woo hoo, off we went!!

As I've mentioned before, Scholar is a voracious reader!  We are going to send him a care package and his one request was that we would have Chinese books for him to read.  He likes science, technology, and animals.  I have no idea what to do with that information, that was a bit to broad.  The young sales lady helping me asked how old he was because she thought it was a strange request.  She was 12 when her family moved to Seattle from China and she said she loved series books and such.  Maybe he likes science fiction???  This part of adoption is hard.  You have a child that you don't know at all!!  You want to nest, get all the things in place, and provide items that will give them comfort and make them feel safe.  With a toddler this is pretty easy, with a 12 yr old it's proving to be a challenge!  Hoot is hooked up!!!  We will be filling in spaces for Scholar.

After perusing the book aisles we settled on a book of Seattle tourism.  He mentioned he wanted to see pictures and learn about Seattle so I thought this was a good start!  It listed a lot of historical places, parks, museums, and places of interest which I think will be fun for him.  This gives him a chance to learn what we have in the city and he can choose places he'd like to visit.  On a side note, books in Chinese are expensive!!!  Holy moly, hope he learns to read english soon!  He reads every single day so it may be a challenge to keep up with his reading appetite.  I could think of worse things to worry about so we'll make it work.  Others mentioned to stock up on books while were in China and ship them home.  We may just do that as I think it will be cheaper in the long run!

Seattle!!! 

Once we got our book in hand we spent another hour (at least) exploring the store!  Potato bug has his favorites so we had to get juicy pork balls (small pork dumpling...he's dubbed them juicy!),  coconut rice cakes and snow cakes.  I also bought us stuff to make a yummy beef stir fry for dinner!  Now if you haven't been in an asian market you are missing out!!!  Know all those cool asian recipes you see asking for obscure ingredient's?  They have it here and at usually better prices than your favorite grocery store!  I can't wait to take Scholar here and see what he picks out!  I'm a bit scared because 1) It could be a organ meat.  2) It could be a dried stinky fishy thing.  3) It will probably be in Chinese so I won't know how to cook it or what's in it!!  This could be interesting!  I am so grateful that we have this community for him though.  The fact that we can go shopping and he can be surrounded by familiar foods and smells will be such a great thing for him!

I'm curious what he'll think of western food.  I belong to a Facebook group for people adopting Chinese teens/tweens and many have said their children want Chinese food for every meal!!  I see a lot of stir fry, fried rice, and noodles in our future!  But no tofu, he said he hates tofu!  Gamer is vegetarian and eats tofu so I guess that will be a meal they won't bond over!  There is not a lot of dairy in the Chinese culture so cheese is usually a tough one for some older kids coming home.  I'm sure I will be posting a lot of awesome pictures of what craziness we're eating and his cute face trying new flavors and foods! 

As you can tell there is a lot of learning to be had on both parts!!  Scholar will have the biggest mountain to tackle that's for sure!  He's going to have to learn a new culture, language, food, and what it means to be in a family.  We will have to guide him through this with patience, setting good examples, and also respecting and embracing his culture.  With PB we have enjoyed learning about Chinese traditions and cultures.  He doesn't remember China so for all he knows we're nailing it, spot on!  Um, I think Scholar is going to call us out.  In fact, I will be curious to see what is important to him and what he could care less about.  I was talking to a friend who is Chinese and telling him about how we were going to celebrate Chinese New Years, he laughed and said I was way more Chinese than him!  I hope traditions are important to Scholar, I'm a tradition freak!!  I love traditions that I grew up with and ones that I have started on my own with my family.  My parent's are Norwegian so we have a lot of Norwegian traditions that we enjoy as well.  We have our holidays, the food, the language, and Norwegian knick knackeries in the house.  My husband grew up in Panama so we have some smatterings of that as well.  He didn't come from a very traditional family so I've been working on bringing more Panama into the house.  Just you all wait until you see our United Benetton Christmas card....we are going to rock the world!  Well at least the Asian, Panamanian, and Norwegian parts of it!

Besides the obvious English, we speak Spanish and Norwegian.  Interesting combo!  We speak absolutely no Mandarin!!!  Nada!!  I can say "hello" and "thank you", that's it!  I'm a very very bad Madre!!  Bad bad bad!  I had the best of intentions to learn.  Look what I bought last year:

I haven't opened either of them!!  The flash cards were for PB to learn a few words and the other program was for Gamer and I to learn a bit.  3 levels, there are 3 levels and I have 2-3 months to learn!!!  I really wanted to show Scholar that we were making an effort so that all the burden of communication wasn't on him.  I know what it's like being in a sea of people who don't speak the same language as you, it's super tiring and frustrating.  Tonight PB and I are going to open the flash cards!  It's a start and hopefully I can dazzle Scholar with my preschool knowledge.  I know Hoot will think I'm a rockstar, I may be able to dazzle the one year old with my grasp of the Chinese language!

So there is my guilt laid out for you all to see.  It's been a year of dossiers, adoption paperwork, feeding therapy, communication input for Boom Boom,  unpacking into our new house, keeping food on the table and clothes on our bodies (except for hot days when we only have to wear underwear!) that has bled me dry.  And now I'm feeling the stress of getting rooms ready, clothes and things for the kids, and obsessing about what to bring on our trip that is filling my brain.  And I'm stressed that I can only say "hi" and "thank you" in Chinese.  How is Scholar feeling?  Wonder what he's thinking?  Wonder what these last few months mean to him?  Is he counting down the days until we come?  Or is he sad that the days are going so fast and scared to leave all he knows?  I imagine our stresses are very very different.  He's leaving his life and coming home.  We don't speak Chinese and he doesn't speak English.