And here is something else a lot of you don't know. A few months ago I decided to get a job to help towards our adoption costs. Working has been a challenge for me, I've tried over the years and it doesn't usually pan out. This biggest challenge is trying to find work that will allow me to work around my kids schedules. Boom Boom is in multiple therapies, has a compromised immune system (gets sick a lot!), and Potato Bug is only in Preschool a few days a week. My husband works long crazy hours, and being the main bread winner, he can't really help much with childcare. I wanted to avoid the cost of childcare because then it defeated the purpose of me working!
After a lot of thought I went back to my roots!! I've always loved working with kids! I started babysitting at 11 and never really stopped! I ran a successful daycare and preschool for eleven years which blessed me with some amazing kiddos to watch grow from babies to now college graduates! I joined Care.com and thought maybe I'd nanny or watch one child as that would fit in with our crew and I could still be mobile. Nothing really seemed to fit my schedule so I decided to look at companion care for the elderly. Yeah, not really my wheelhouse!!! To me, older peeps, are pretty adorable though. They're vulnerable, can be cranky, love attention, love to talk and reminisce, and enjoy a good cookie or sweet. Really not that different from the little kids I've cared for!
This is when I found Mr. Glen, my sweet sweet Mr. Glen! He was in the late state stages of Alzheimer's. His daughter, posted an add on Care.com, looking for someone to keep him company 3 days a week. Her and I talked and she really just wanted to have someone sit with him from 9-3. It really was the perfect job! I could take PB with me and I was off in time to go get Boom Boom off the bus. His daughter said he liked to watch TV, have someone to talk too, and eating. He loved to eat! I have absolutely no experience with Alzheimer's! The first day I met him I said "Hi Mr. Glen, my name is Madre (LOL!) and I will be keeping you company a few days a week." His response, "well, aren't you a lucky lady!"
The first day was a snoozer!!!! This was not going to fly! We sat side by side for 6 hours watching TV and talking here and there. There was no way I was going to last or was it good for him. He was in overall good health but just spent his days sitting. So on day 2 we mixed it up and never looked back! That was the last day on that couch. Mr. Glen has absolutely no short term memory whatsoever though. I spent those first few weeks getting to know him and we played tons of games. I was able to get an idea of what his interest and strengths were. He liked playing bingo, playing cards (he would match), cooking and going for car rides. His daughter was very supportive and gave me free reign in his daily care. I was able to take him on field trips with Potato bugs school, car rides, doctor appointments with the kids, Potato Bugs Little Gym class, to the park, and to my house.
We also had some challenges. Again, I have zero experience with this disease. It's not a nice disease at all but there are parts of it I can like.....just a little. Mr. Glen lived in the moment. He enjoyed every moment. Sometimes we forget to just enjoy the moment. He couldn't remember my name so he called me his lady. When I came in the morning he would recognize me, greet me with a hug and ask if that was my "rig' out front. He would go on about how sweet my rig was and he sure would like a ride. So of course, we would go for a ride! He would always look out his window and give a "all clear!" Of course he never looked the other direction so if I would taken his word for it we would've been creamed countless times! Love this guy! He really was a like a kid, he took so much pleasure in the simple things and appreciated everything. We would talk and he would share stories of his past. I thought he was making it all up but after verifying with his daughter I found out he did grow up on a farm, rode horses, was a pilot, and was a police officer! This is what I like about his Alzheimer's. He enjoyed life in the moment, everyday was a wonder, everything he enjoyed was like the first time. He had a wicked funny sense of humor and had me rolling. He could throw out the zingers like nobody! But then there are parts, obviously, about Alzheimer's that are cruel. He lost his dignity. He knew he couldn't remember things so he compensated for that. He can't remember that he had a wife, children, or a home. He always thought he was alone if he wasn't with someone. Whoever he was with, whether it was me, his daughter, or grandkids- they were his anchor to reality. His worst fear is being alone. If I would walk out of the room he'd be on my heel because if he can't see me he doesn't know where he is. Our other challenge is that he's hungry all the time because he can't remember that he already ate. If I remind him, he compensates (he knows he doesn't know!) with an excuse. I only did that twice. I never reminded him again. I just told him like it was the first time. He saw Potato Bug almost every time I had him yet he could never remember who he was. We'd take him to his Gym class, go in together, and then as soon as PB was in his class he'd forget why we were there. If PB came up to me he'd ask if I knew that kid and why does he keep talking to us. I had to explain a LOT to PB!!!! Mr. Glen was like a small child and sometimes they fought. Mr. Glen would take his food off his plate, take toys out of his hand, and then in the next moment boss him like he was the parent. It was super confusing for PB at first but after explaining to him about his disease it was so amazing to see PB's caring heart take over! Just like he looks out for Boom Boom he did the same for Mr. Glen. He tolerated the bossiness, didn't shriek if he ate his food, and wanted to do things that made him happy. I'm so glad that PB got to experience this! The world is made of up of people of all ages with many different abilities and challenges. As human beings we should always treat people with respect no matter what! We should always help and include those around us.
The absolute hardest part of my day was saying goodbye to Mr. Glen! I dreaded driving him home, it was so heartbreaking! I would always announce "we're home" and he would say "I don't live here!" We'd go in and he wouldn't recognize his family and would want to leave with me again. Of course the minute I walked out the door he forgot that he spent the day with me. He remembered absolutely nothing about what we did each day. Poof, it's gone, just like that! He literally lived in the moment because when it was over he wouldn't remember it again. Normally I watched him Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. On Memorial day weekend I had Monday off. On Tuesday, the day after the holiday, I went to his house as usual. His daughter and I wen't over his weekend and how he was. She said he had a pretty rough weekend. He really wasn't eating as much, and was freezing (forgot to mention, he's always cold!!!) and was becoming more incontinent. She was going to take him to the doctor the following week to discuss the progression of his Alzheimer.s. He's been in the final stage for awhile and usually after diagnosis most people live for 6-7 yrs. He was at 7 yrs living with this. She said he was stumbling a bit so to hold his arm. We had planned on going to the pet store but decided to stay in as he pretty much fell asleep anyway. Normally he wants to go for a ride but I could tell he was tired! After a few hours I woke him, got him to eat a bit, and he was ready for a car ride. As soon as we got in the car he fell back asleep. I decided to take him to my house and he could barely get up the stairs. For the first time in 3 months that I had cared for him he didn't follow me around the house!! He never lets me leave his sight. He was also freezing to the point of chattering teeth. At this point I was worried, this was not his normal. I took his temperature and it was 105!! I freaked and felt absolutely horrible! I had felt him at his house and he didn't feel hot to me. He's always cold too so that didn't really give me a clue. After taking off his layers and giving him Ibuprofen his temp dropped to 103. I got a hold of his daughter and she took him to the ER. He had a bladder infection and pneumonia. His prognosis was not good. I went and visited him in the hospital a few days later and their was a glimmer of my sweet Mr. Glen. He was so happy to see me and wanted to talk. We talked off an on for a few hours and watched TV, it totally reminded me of our first day together! And it was to be our last day.
Today Mr. Glen passed away. I will really miss him and am so glad that I had the honor to care for him for his last 3 months. I'm honored that I was able to bring him some happiness and that we got to know each other. I will never forget you Mr. Glen! Mr. Glen is part of our adoption journey as well. The funds I earned caring for him helped pay a portion of our agency fees. I think he'd like that! He loved kids and we talked about our adoption frequently, it was a new an wondrous story to him each time I told him. So Mr. Glen, I have a special puzzle piece just for you! Your name will go on a puzzle piece for each of our kids and I can't wait to tell them about how special you were!
Being crafty!
He loved blowing bubbles!
Mr. Glen's first selfie. He had never heard that word before.
Playing sand with Potato Bug
Always ready to give Boom Boom a helping hand.
Fun at the beach! So glad he got some sunny days, they were his favorite!
Woo hoo, 2nd selfie ever!
Baking cookies!
"OFF we go into the wild blue yonder,Here they come zooming to meet our thunder Climbing high into the sun" Mr. Glen sang this Airforce song every time we got in the car.